Not sure if you've made a decision on a vehicle or not, but I picked up a 2011 CX-9 GT 2 days ago.
I too have young ones and we are downsizing from our awesome lifted 2000 Ford Excursion (shedding tears as I type this) which held all our our kids and more... to the new CX-9. My kids are 19, 6, 5, and 2. The way I set things up was I put the 2 youngest (5 and 2) in the 3rd row with their regular forward facing car seats. My 6 year old is in a booster and sits behind the driver's seat. This way, I can access the 3rd row via the 2nd row single seat without having to move anyone. My 19 year old also has plenty of room in the 2nd row behind mom...
As far as the cargo area... it kind of sucks. I would say that with the seats setup the way they are, putting down the 3rd row would just be a pain. So, if you plan on doing any major shopping, take another car or remove the car seats out of the 3rd row of the CX-9. There is little room for pretty much anything in the cargo area.
It's a great car. It really is. It's just not my Excursion... so I'm not jumping for joy about the new ride (yet). I'm sure that joy will kick in when I fill up with gas for the first time and realize it costs 1/3 the price to go 2x the distance.
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